Oscar & Tilly Talk About Baths:

We hate baths. We hate being given (that is, forced to suffer) a bath so much that we tremble uncontrollably whenever we hear the word “bath”!

Dogs and Water

It’s not that we hate water. We DRINK the stuff! We don’t even mind getting wet—if there’s a river, pond, sea or lake, we’ll jump right in it and have a great old time.

We even love splashing around in puddles. We aren’t the only ones—little humans seem to understand the magic of puddles and enjoy romping through them, too.

Muddy puddle water is something of a delicacy for us dogs—the dirtier the better. It’s perfectly good dog-etiquette to drink water you’ve splashed in and vice versa.

Dogs hate baths Tilly puddle photo
If there’s a puddle in a field, Tilly will find it!

 So What’s Wrong with Baths?

Baths are NOT puddles, ponds, rivers, seas or lakes. Bathtubs are cold, hard and slippery and it’s scary climbing over the side to get in. Strangely, it’s a lot easier getting out (and a lot more pleasant).


Baths have scary-looking gadgets that spurt or spray horrible “clean” water all over the place, even at our unmentionable places. (You probably already know that it’s not easy staying put with jets of mudless water shooting onto your ‘bits”).

At least Mommy does her best to be kind when she gives us a bath. She is careful not to get soap suds into our eyes or water in our ears, but really, that’s only a small mercy. We always try to hide if we hear the word “bath,” but she quickly finds us. As she marches us off to the tub, our hearts are racing. There’s not many more terrifying walks than that one!

Mommy’s Method

Mommy puts a big towel in the bath first and wets it so that we don’t slip. We appreciate that at least, but the noise of the spurting water and the sucking sounds of the drain are really scary!

The worst part of all is the shampoo. Mommy says it will make us “smell good.” I (Oscar) get shampooed with Fox Poo Shampoo.  I try to tell her I already smell of fox poop, but she doesn’t listen.  Tilly gets shampooed with Puppy Love Shampoo.  Tilly prefers Eau de Stagnant water, after all, a dog can’t smell any better than that, can they? 

All that good musky scent washed down the drain!
All that good musky scent going down the drain!

If it were up to Daddy, we wouldn’t take baths… ever. Mommy says he’s “nose blind,” but we are pretty confident she’s the one with no sense of smell. We could build up a nice heavy scent if Mommy wasn’t so confused. Just when we start to smell great ….to other dogs, …..she washes all our hard work down the drain. What a waste!

We guess we should be glad that she doesn’t bathe us in weird smelling shampoos. Some of the shampoos are just plain embarrassing!

yellow dog
Banana-scented dog shampoo? Seriously?

Imagine how we’d be treated by the other dogs if we were wearing “very berry” or “banana” to the dog park while our pals were wearing “pungent puddle,” “poopy fox,” or “stinky sheep” fragrances?

Well now, don’t you just smell like a little rose garden! Who are you calling a rose garden??? Grrrrrrrr!
“Well now, don’t you just smell like a little rose garden!” “Who are you calling a rose garden???” Grrrrrrrr!

At least when the bath is over, we get a good towel dry, we get to shake fur and water all over the bathroom, hallway and stairwell and then we get to dry off in front of a nice, warm fire.  Ahhhhhhhhh……


We think Mommy loves the way we smell at these times, because we’ve often heard her remark that “the whole house smells of wet dog.” That must surely be a good thing, right? After all, if she didn’t like it, why would she keep getting us wet?

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Why Dogs Hate Baths: Information for Humans

2 thoughts on “Why Dogs Hate Baths: Information for Humans

  • 11th November 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Well cousins, I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. Recently I’d been playing in a muddy puddle with my best buddy Alfie and we were just admiring our new,whiffy, shades of brown furcoats(we’re usually conspicuously white as westies)when the mums’both made a loud noise we didn’t understand and the leads were back on and we were back travelling in the back area of the big car! WE looked at each other as words like BATH and SHOWER were mentioned ! When we got home,instead of getting my big treat, I was hoisted up by my mum (most undignified)and put in the empty,cold ,steep tub in the littlest room.Then I was sprayed with luke warm water,ALL over (you know what I mean os and till) & I watched all my lovely stinky brown coat go down the glughole! Special vet approved slimy stuff then made me look ridiculous, then more water (not too bad). Afterwards hoisted ungainly out of steep tub and rubbed dry (not bad ).I was allowed to run around rubbing against all the sofas and carpets. Then mum appeared told me I was a LUCKY BOY!!Can you believe that? But……I then got a stroke and my favourite pigs ear treat! Hope we go back to that puddle place soon zzzzzzzzzz.

  • 11th November 2016 at 8:22 pm

    I can hear my two beauties (Bella & Cassie) saying everything that you’ve just said Oscar???


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